The more I hear from women about their issues with weight control, the more than ever I’m convinced that weight control is truly an inside job.

All sensible diets and nutrition programs have some merit and work for some of the people some of the time, but they’re all doomed to long-term failure if we don’t deal with the root of the problem: our appetites and our emotional relationship to food.

I have been deeply engaged with this subject for several months now and am working on a project to address this core problem, which is so troubling to millions of women and men.  Stay tuned for more information as it gets closer to completion.

In the meantime, know that if you’re having trouble controlling your appetite and have times when you feel out of control, you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with your “will power.” Trying to control your inner processes through the force of your will is like shoveling sand against the tide: a lot of work and a lot of frustration.

Much better to get relaxed, pay attention to your body and learn to understand the subtle cues it’s sending you.  When you do this, you are working with your body instead of against it, and you avoid those horrible internal power struggles that leave you feeling tense and drained.

Food is not your enemy.  Eating without awareness of what’s going on is your enemy, and fortunately that’s an adversary you can learn to beat.

A major portion of my Fit and Fabulous for the Fifties and Beyond program is focused on overcoming this all-too-common problem.  There are a number of mental exercises to help you begin the process of gaining awareness and control, which make a huge difference in taking charge of your weight and your health.

If you haven’t checked out the program yet, please visit my website and begin the adventure.

For those of us in the USA, tomorrow is Independence Day.  It’s a great day to celebrate our freedom and to count our many blessings.

It can also be a day to lose control of our appetites though, and to see our best intentions to lose weight go down the drain.

No matter where you live, there are bound to be holidays, family gatherings, and other events where fattening food abounds. If you’re accustomed to “blowing it” on these occasions, you may feel there’s nothing you can do, that you’re a victim of circumstance and you’re powerless to stop yourself from overeating.

You may be surprised to learn that I believe it’s actually good to let yourself indulge every once in a while, as long as YOU are in control and YOU determine when those times will be.

But to prevent that from becoming a habit that runs YOU around instead of vice versa, here’s a few tips on how to have fun at celebrations without beating yourself up afterward.

1. Think about the event ahead of time: what type of food will be there, what are your biggest temptations, and how to you want to feel physically and emotionally when the party’s over?

2. Before you go, eat something healthy to cut your appetite: an apple or two, a hard-boiled egg, a piece of chicken, or a green salad without lots of goop on it.

3. When you get to the party, place yourself strategically AWAY from the appetizer table!  Scope it out first, pick out the healthiest items and one or two of the more fattening goodies, then get the heck away from there!!!  You can pile on more calories by nibbling on “finger foods,” than you can by eating a regular meal.  Find a quiet spot to eat your appetizers slowly and SAVOR them.  This will prevent you from feeling deprived but won’t be enough to blow your diet.

4.When the main course comes, be sure to eat plenty of protein, fruit and vegetables.  If there’s a special favorite of yours there that’s high in carbs or starch, take one if you must and then really enjoy it.

5. And for dessert, go ahead and have a sliver of two or three of your favorites, but again, sit down to eat them, SLOW DOWN and really enjoy each morsel.

When you start approaching holidays and celebrations this way, you’ll find you’re starting to eat as thin people do: they try some of everything but in small portions. They don’t stuff themselves and walk away from the event feeling bloated, groggy and disgusted with themselves.

Try these simple tips at YOUR next celebration, and begin your personal journey to feeling Fit and Fabulous, now and for the rest of your life.

Happy Fourth of July America, and wishing all of you a safe, happy and healthy weekend,

Susan Blais

P.S.  To check out the complete program of health and fitness for women in their 50s and beyond, please visit my website by clicking here.

I’ve been getting lots of emails lately from women who are having a difficult time adjusting to the realities of menopause.

Sometimes it’s due to actual physical symptoms, such as hot flashes, loss of energy, or mood swings.  Other times it’s due to feelings of low self-worth because they feel less sexy, desirable, or healthy than they did before.

It does make sense that going through such a major life change would have an impact on one’s self-image.

But there ARE things you can do to help yourself through these times and come out feeling strong, confident, and every bit a woman.

First, make sure you’re seeing a good doctor or health practitioner who LISTENS to you.  You wouldn’t believe how many toads out there have medical licenses, but not an ounce of common sense or compassion for a menopausal woman’s plight.  If you’re seeing one of these reptiles, ask around for referrals to someone who knows a hot flash from a hot toddy.

The last thing you need when you’re feeling low is to have a doctor blow you off or minimize what you’re going through.  I do have a bias toward female doctors who have actually gone through menopause themselves….they can certainly identify with you.

Second, understand that menopause IS a big deal but one that you can manage.  If you’ve been a very healthy person before the change, as I was, you may be taken by surprise if you have severe symptoms.

There appears to be little or no correlation between general health and the severity of menopause symptoms, so if yours are harsher than most women you know, don’t think it means it’s over for you or you’re doomed to get old and sickly.  It’ll just take a little more time to understand your own process and learn how to deal with it, but you can and will win out if you’re willing to make the effort.

And third, pay attention to the thoughts and images running through your mind, and the words coming out of your mouth.

If you find yourself thinking and saying things like, “I’m just too old for …,” or “I’m just not the woman I used to be,” or “I guess I’m just an overweight, middle-aged woman,” realize that you’re buying in to a mental picture of yourself that is not pre-determined and that can be changed if you want to.

Getting a clear mental picture of the way you WANT to feel and look, and focusing on it a few times a day, will help you change your thinking and will start aligning your behavior in ways that lead to improvements in your health and self-image.

You can learn to direct your thoughts, which create your feelings, which lead to actions, which lead to better health and a better outlook on life.

There’s a whole section in the Fit and Fabulous for the Fifties and Beyond program to help you do just that, and two audio CDs which walk you through some mental exercises specifically designed to blow away the menopause malaise.

If you’d like to take a look at this program which is helping women all over the world win out over menopause, please visit my website.

And please continue to share your stories with me, they help me spread the word to other women about what works in winning over menopause.

To the Fit and Fabulous you,

Susan Blais

Just recently I heard from a friend named Joanne who had decided to get in shape and lose weight after many years of being a couch potato.

She was determined to do it because her health was suffering and her energy level had dropped to near zero.

Joanne had a group of friends whose social life revolved around food.  They had luncheons, parties, and card games where a major focus was on trying new recipes and outdoing each other in creating ever more elaborate dishes and desserts.

Guess what happened when Joanne shared her new desire to lose weight with these “friends?”

They didn’t discourage her outright, but snickered behind her back about how she’d never do it, and made it their business to push even more of their fattening goodies on her at every opportunity.

At first she fell for it and became depressed, thinking she could never gain control of her weight.  But eventually she realized what was going on, grabbed hold of her bra straps and said, ENOUGH.

She was bold and confronted these friends. letting them know she’d be happy to associate with them when she could, but she could no longer go on stuffing herself in their company and feeling miserable as a result.  Time will tell whether these relationships hold, or whether she’ll move on to other friends with similar goals to her own.

This points out a serious danger in sharing your goals with others.

It’s funny how even those who care about you can be invested in keeping you the way you are.

This happens way too often in the family, when husbands, partners, siblings and parents sabotage your best efforts by pushing fattening foods on you when you’re trying to lose weight.

Maybe they feel you’ll make them look bad when you become fit and fabulous, and they’re still fat and flabulous.

Maybe they’re afraid they’ll lose you to some sleeker model when you get toned and sexxy.

Or maybe they just plain like you with a little padding around the edges.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to seriously think about whether to share your goals when you start on a new fitness regime.

It’s often better to just decide in your own mind, and quietly set about your plan: eating better and exercising your mind and your body a little more each day.

As your body, your attitude and your energy level begin to change, they’ll notice all right but by then you’ll be set upon a new course.  A little success will strengthen your resolve and make it much harder for others to pull you out of orbit.

Eventually you’ll find you can stay fit no matter who you’re with, because you’ll be taking all your cues from inside, and won’t be distracted so much by what others do.

The only exception to this rule is if you’re fortunate enough to have a friend or colleague who is totally in synch with your new fitness goals.  You can tell those folks because they’re already living it out themselves.

They’ve got a bounce in their step, a gleam in their eye, and they’re full of pith and vinegar.  They’re the ones who will encourage you and build you up as you pursue your goals, instead of tearing you down.

And they’ll keep your goals a secret too and will wait till you’ve gotten Fit and Fabulous before building you up to others.

So do set a goal very soon to become as healthy and fit as you possibly can, for the rest of your life. Don’t let menopause or turning 50 discourage you: you CAN take charge and make these years some of the very best of your life.

And be careful who you tell about it, especially at first.  If you’ve got to tell SOMEONE, tell me!  I love hearing your stories, and you can write me anytime at info@susanblais.com.

To the Fit and Fabulous you,

Susan Blais

P.S.  If you haven’t seen the Fit and Fabulous for the Fifties and Beyond program, created especially for women like you, please visit my website.